Kay's Blog

Sacred Privilege

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One of my bucket list items has been to write a book for pastors’ wives.  I am an avid reader and over the past 40 years I have collected and read books for pastors’ wives  that were written from the 1800’s to today – but honestly, most of them do not go far enough for me.  Many have offered perspective and tips – but I have longed for a book that would talk about the challenges of ministry and provide a roadmap for those seeking to find direction in the midst of the unique challenges that come with the role of being a pastor’s wife.


Some of you know – I love the church!  I mean – I am all in.  I believe with my whole heart that the church is God’s answer for our hurting world.  My Dad was a pastor, I am married to a pastor, my daughter is a pastor’s wife and my son serves pastors – I have seen the incredible joys that come from being in ministry and at the same time I have experienced the intense challenges as well. 


There were seasons in ministry when I titled my messages for pastors’ wives: How to Keep the Ministry from Killing You – but over the years my perspective has grown and I have titled my book Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor’s Wife. 


This is not a book from a perfect woman telling you about her perfect life.  Yes, I’ll tell you a little bit about the good times of ministry – the things I’m grateful for; the lessons I’ve learned about resilience and how to make it to the finish line.  I’ll talk to you about keeping the end in mind from the very beginning and how to finish well.  But it is also about the real challenges inherent along the way.  The challenges of living in the spotlight, the sleepless nights filled with anxiety over my son with mental illness, the shame over choices I made early in my life and in my marriage.  It’s about letting go of the attempts to try to please everyone, it is about choosing joy in the midst of tragedy, and developing an eternal perspective that allows resilience to take deep root in your soul.


I have written this book in the most honest way I know how - so if you are a pastor’s wife who is excited, struggling, or feeling broken and tired; my prayer is that you will find hope and encouragement for your calling, which I truly believe is a sacred privilege. 


*Sacred Privilege is available to order at: www.KayWarren.com/SacredPrivilege

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Hope Rising

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Dear Friend,


Not long after our son, Matthew, died, I had a vision in prayer.  I don’t regularly see visions, so this was unusual.  In my mind’s eye, I pictured the Worship Center at Saddleback full of people who are living with a mental illness - depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia - or any other mental illness that was making life challenging. Everyone in the room was reaching out to God without having to pretend that life felt okay – some people were crying, others wrapped themselves around a large wooden cross, some were praying, some were offering hugs to others – but all felt safe to bring their pain and their sorrow to God.  Then I saw laughter – the kind of laughter that comes when others walking a similar life-path talk about the shared, common ups as well as downs, the moments of absurdity and humor in living with a mental illness. In my vision, hope began to rise.  Hope for no more isolation.  Hope for better days ahead.  Hope for relationships with others who truly “get” what it’s like to live with a mental illness. Hope for acceptance and a place to belong. Hope for today….for tomorrow. And the day after that.


As the years have gone by, this dream has remained alive in my heart. On May 19th , please join me for Hope Rising.  If you are living with anxiety, depression, or any mental illness,  I invite you to come experience community and fellowship through music, art, story, silence, laughter, prayer, listening, talking.....and lots of hugs. You are not alone!


With rising hope,




*Please note that space will be limited. This event is run by and for people living with mental illness. Please come just as you are.



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