Kay's Blog

A Place For Everyone

In my family, I’m known as the Christmas “Scrooge.”


I’ve earned this reputation, not because I’m cheap and stingy when it comes to buying presents, but because of my attitude towards the way most Americans celebrate Christmas. My whining begins in August as I start the countdown in my head: “Four months until Christmas.” The way I look at it, we only have twelve months in a year, and one entire month is dedicated to getting ready for Christmas: planning, shopping, wrapping, decorating, baking, writing cards, going to parties. I resent having to set aside 30 days of my life to prepare for a holiday. You can see why my family gets so annoyed with me!


But what I lack in Christmas spirit I make up for by being a nativity set fanatic. When I travel internationally, I buy nativity sets. They vary dramatically. Some are simple and roughhewn; others are intricate and beautifully mastered. I love to juxtapose a primitive, straw nativity set from Rwanda with a psychedelic, beaded nativity set from Mexico. Even though each is unique in its appearance, the characters – the people of the nativity – are always the same. Every set has angels, wise men, shepherds, Mary and Joseph, and of course, Baby Jesus.


With so many nativity sets scattered around my house, they beg the question: What is it about the incarnation that compels artists to attempt to capture the wonder through wood, clay, metal, canvas, straw and paint? Why did Jesus come to earth as a baby?


We get an unambiguous answer from Luke 19:22: “For the Son of man came to seek and to save that which was lost.” Jesus came to earth to seek and to save the lost. But who are the “lost” referred to in this verse? My nativity sets provide a graphic illustration of those for whom Jesus came.


The shepherds – those of Christmas pageant bathrobes and towels-on-the-head fame – represent people at the lower end of society. They are the stand-ins for those who are just barely getting by, the ones easy for us to overlook and ignore. Shepherds spend the majority of their waking lives with their flocks, not with other people. . Their role was vital in an agrarian society, but nobody particularly valued them as human beings… they just did the dirty work. Yet shepherds were there for Christ’s birth. And they were some of the “lost” Jesus came to seek and to save.


At the other end of the cultural spectrum were the wise men. They were highly educated astronomers, influential and well-respected in their community. Evidently they were not lacking because they had the affluence to travel a long distance to visit Bethlehem. The wise men represent all the people in life who seem to have it made - the popular ones who do well in school… the athletes, homecoming queens, entrepreneurs and super stars at the top of society’s food chain. According to the Scriptures, they too, were part of the “lost” Jesus came to seek and to save.


At the center of every nativity set are Mary and Joseph, and although some manger scenes portray them with halos or saintly smiles, they were just average people like most of us. Joseph was a simple carpenter. He didn’t make much money, or achieve fame and fortune. Mary was a teenager, probably no more than 14 or 15. There was undoubtedly something special about her, but it wasn’t obvious to her friends and family. Most of us aren’t losers, but we’re not necessarily winners either – we’re just “middle-of-the-roaders.” And we’re also part of the “lost’ Jesus came to seek and to save.


The Scripture says even more about the “lost” Jesus came for in Luke 4:16-30. Jesus had just survived 40 days of temptation by Satan in the wilderness and returned home to Nazareth. There, in front of the people who had known him since he was a boy, he began to read to the congregation from the book of Isaiah.


"The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind. To release the oppressed and to proclaim the year of the Lords favor." Luke 4:18-19


The poorest, most vulnerable people in the world are orphans. Because they have no one to speak for them, they are taken advantage of, exploited, used and abused. Jesus came to give them the good news that they have a Father who cares passionately for them!


There are more men, women and children in prison today than at any other time in history. Many are there due to their own wrong choices, but millions are imprisoned because of human error or corrupt and repressive legal systems. Jesus came to give them freedom!


Most of us aren’t comfortable around sick people; in fact, we seldom even think of sick people until someone we love becomes ill. Jesus made it clear that he cared for our bodies as well as our souls. Jesus came to offer hope of healing and recovery for the sick.


Jesus even sought out and saved the oppressed – those caught in the web of sexual immorality, theft, murder or deceit. Considered untouchable by polite society, these outcasts heard a word from Jesus as well: release!


So where do you fit into the Nativity scene?


The reality is most of us probably don’t relate to the shepherd or the outcasts. You’re probably not even average like Mary and Joseph. Most likely, you are one of the wise men; you’re at the top. So far, life has treated you fairly well. Maybe you did great in school. Your career plans have materialized; you know where you’re going. You may be beautiful… well-liked. Maybe you’re the cool one everybody else aspires to be.


That’s wonderful! But a word of caution: if that describes you, it’s easy to develop an inflated view of yourself. You might believe, “Of course Jesus came for the orphans and the sick – people who need God when they’re alone or ill. Of course he came for the prostitutes and the prisoners - and he probably came for the untouchables, too. I know whythey need him. But why do I need a savior?”


I John 1:8 tells us, “If we claim to be without sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Romans 3:23 says“For all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory.” James 2:10 says “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking it all.”


You may be a moral, industrious, successful man or woman. But according to God’s standard of perfection, if you blow it in even the smallest area of your life you’re just like everybody else. When you measure yourself against God’s perfection, everyone is untouchable. Sadly, our righteousness, our holiness, our goodness, our perfection is like “trash” next to God.


In that light, we all desperately need a savior. Romans 5:8 says,“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this. While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” He turns trash into treasure.


Who did Jesus come to seek and to save? He came for the posers and the pretenders, the powerful and the powerless. He came for the brainiacs and the idiots, and the popular and the ostracized. He came for the sick and for those who have great health. He came for the geeks and the freaks. He came for the athletes and those who are athletically challenged. He came for the winners and the losers. For the strong, along with the weak. He came for those who never seem to fail. And for those who can’t help but fail. He came for the drunks and the druggies, the dealers and the addicts. He came for the abusers and their victims. And for murderers, rapists and thieves. He came for the beautiful and the not so beautiful. He came for every race, language, ethnic group, gender, and for those who don’t fit into any category at all.


The truth is he came for you.


Maybe you relate to the shepherds because people look down on you. It’s a painful thing to deal with. You don’t know why you get picked on and why people are unkind. And why you can’t be one of the “cool” people. He came for you.


Perhaps you’re reading this article from the vantage point of being at the top. You’re going places and doing great things. He came for you.


Possibly you’re a Mary or a Joseph. There’s nothing particularly special or unique about you; you’re just a guy or gal trying to make it one more day. He came for you.


This year as I unwrap my nativity sets and place them around my house, I’m thanking God for sending Jesus to seek and save me. He has made room for me in his nativity scene. There’s a place for you, too, no matter who you are or what you’ve done – shepherd or wise man, Mary or Joseph. He’s made a place for us to worship him as Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world.


Published first in Purpose Driven Connection: November 2009

Posted by Kay Warren with

Reality is Our Friend

I am messed up.


It’s taken a long time to accept it, but I’m finally pretty comfortable with that truth.  As a friend constantly reminds me, “Reality is your friend!”


The reality of my weaknesses, sins, and flaws didn’t feel very “friendly” for most of my adolescence and young adulthood. Growing up in a pastor’s home during a time when pastors and their families were supposed to be perfect with no struggles, no sins, and no doubts taught me how to hide the parts of my life that didn’t measure up. I learned from an early age how to conceal my imperfections and disguise my brokenness – at least, I thought I did.


Deeply buried in my soul were the wounds caused by being molested by a family friend when I was very young.  Like many other young children who are the victims of sexual abuse, I didn’t know how to talk about what had happened to me.  I kept the abuse a secret, but grew increasingly confused about my own developing sexuality.  Pornography and acting out became a shameful part of my life, even while I longed to love and serve God.  After awhile, there just didn’t seem to be any hope for change and I felt doomed to live a double life.


Then I got married.  The secrets of my past were impossible to mask any longer.  I was so scared that Rick wouldn’t love me if he knew the whole me. But in the intimacy of my relationship with Rick, all the brokenness became obvious, and what I had hoped could remain hidden was exposed in all its pain, dysfunction, and misery.


We all think we’re pretty good at covering up, hiding, disguising, camouflaging, and compensating for our messed up parts. We act like my two year old grandson.  He thinks that if he closes his eyes I can’t see him – he is convinced he is invisible – but he’s right there in front of me all the while.  What he believes is hidden is really in plain view.


A friend of mine has an eating disorder that she thought she had disguised from her friends.  While she was in therapy, she marveled when I told her it was obvious.  “How did you know?” she asked in amazement.  “I thought I had it under control.” Like my grandson, she believed that none of us knew of her predicament, even though all it took was sharing one meal with her to see the reality.  What she assumed was invisible was apparent to those closest to her.


I suppose that’s the double-edged sword of living in true community.  True community holds out the possibility of soul-satisfying fellowship with other believers on the same spiritual journey.  But in true community, our carefully constructed house of cards can come crashing down as the lies we tell ourselves and expect others to believe are revealed as we do life together.  While that can be an uncomfortable risk – terrifying to some – it’s God’s way of helping us deal with the sins and failures that hinder and eventually cripple our spiritual, emotional and physical well being.


As the Bible says in 1 John 1:7(LB)




God’s desire is that we live in the penetrating, clarifying light of His presence, where there can be no pretense, no masks, and no false fronts. Once we’re honest with God and experience His incredible acceptance and forgiveness, then we can begin to live in the light of truthfulness about ourselves with others. Acceptance of each other as deeply flawed but deeply loved human beings opens the door to the fellowship and joy we are all craving.


I eventually chose to get gut-level honest with God, with Rick, with a trusted counselor, and with my friends.  I was tired of living in the darkness of my own repeated failures.  Stepping into the light of God’s love and Rick’s love has permitted me to find release from my secrets. Living in reality is allowing me the freedom to know others and for them to finally know me.


Recently, someone on our high school ministry staff had a life-sized cardboard figure of Rick made as a joke.  You know what I’m talking about – those cardboard figures of Hollywood celebrities that crazy tourists pose with to show the folks back home “Look, I’m tight with Beyonce!” Rick’s cardboard figure got a lot of laughs, and I even posed for a picture with my arms around the cardboard guy!  It wasn’t very satisfying though; I wanted reality.  I wanted to put my arms around the real guy, warts and all. After 34 years of marriage, I know him and he knows me – he knows I’m messed up and I know he’s messed up.  The fear he would reject me if really knew how far from perfect I am is gone.  Well, most of the time it’s gone!


Some of you are living as cardboard cutouts of yourself, afraid to face reality and reveal the truth.  Everyone around you knows the truth: you’re a sinner who needs grace and forgiveness.  You might as well come into the light of God’s presence; nothing you’ve ever thought, said, or done is hidden from Him. He’s known the truth about you from the very beginning and it hasn’t stopped Him from dearly loving you.  Once you do, you too will experience peace and the freedom to give your real self to those you love.


In the end, reality truly is our friend.

Posted by Kay Warren with