If You Feel Worn...

Today is the three month anniversary of Matthew's death - the day he realized he couldn't fight the depression for one more moment. As much as our hearts are full of sadness and sorrow today, I'm also thinking of thousands of others - some of you - who are barely hanging on to this existence, wondering if you should just quit trying because you are WORN OUT from the struggle. I'm listening to the most tender, amazing, and poignant YouTube video by Tenth Avenue North called "Worn."

The first time I watched it I cried hard - and I missed the hope - but if you watch carefully, you'll see HOPE literally blooming amidst the pain. This is for all of you dear brothers and sisters who quietly carry debilitating depression on your shoulders; those for whom "darkness is your only companion" (Psalm 88:18). God hears your cries for relief - He knows you are worn out - and perhaps one of the ways He wants to comfort you is through this post - to let you know you are not alone... to remind you that there are thousands of Christ followers who want to be (and are willing to be) arms of love around you... to walk with you in the darkness without offering trite, stale, meaningless words. God is with you - we are with you - and together we can face the shadows and walk in the light again.

Hold on, dearest ones.

This Terrible "Club"

For any of you whose loved one took their life / I share your deep grief and anguish. It's a terrible "club" to belong to and I wish none of us did. But here we are - completely shattered by it and yet, for us, we find ourselves leaning into Jesus like never before. No human words are enough - no human strategy for dealing with the grief is enough - it is only in our hope of the resurrection that allows us to hope for our own and for our Matthew.

We have determined not to let the enemy steal anything else from us - he took our son and we refuse to let him steal our peace, our hope, our faith or our joy. We will keep on living - loving every moment God gives us - serving him passionately - working to bring hope and healing to many others who suffer the daily torment of depression and broken minds. It won't be easy - but the illness won't win in our lives.

I'm praying for all of us in this terrible "club" tonight / praying for God's tender mercies to be real in our hearts.