Kay’s youngest son Matthew struggled with severe mental illness and suicidal ideation for most of his life. After his death by suicide, she had agonizing questions for God. Knowing Kay loves tangible items to remind her of spiritual truths, a friend gave her a “Le Creuset” ceramic pot, which means “the crucible”. This pot, which Kay named her “mystery pot” came to represent how in the midst of her suffering, grief, and confusion her faith was going through a crucible. Kay wrote out all the unanswerable, agonizing questions she had for God, and placed them in the mystery pot.

This mystery pot serves as a reminder that her questions matter, and that while there will be things that she is not able to answer until she sees Jesus face to face, God is big enough to contain and hold her mystery.